Goodbyes
by Babbit.ramblings
Summary: About the first time Edward leaves Bella to go hunt after he returns in New Moon. Please R&R! T because I'm paranoid.Now extended. author formally mybrandofherion
1. Bella

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**This is two one shots about the first time Edward leaves Bella after he returns at the end of New Moon.**

_Bella's Point of View:_

"Bella," His eyes were pleading. I couldn't tell whether or not he was worried about me, or didn't want to leave himself.

"Edward." I pulled his face towards mine. I didn't want him to leave. In fact, my stomach was in knots at the thought. I wanted to hold him there and never have him leave. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to be with him. More than anything I was afraid of what would happen to me after he walked out that door. I was afraid but I couldn't let him no that, ever. Edward worried incessantly about me and I didn't want to add anymore to that. It wasn't his fault I was so attached to him.

His eyes were like pools of darkness when I looked into them. I had never seen them that black, they frightened me. Not because I thought that he would ever hurt me. No, it was because I knew how hard he fought against the scent of my blood. He shouldn't have to fight that personal battle everyday. He had described it himself. I was his brand of heroine and he was resisting. The bags under his eyes were almost as black as his eyes themselves. They looked…painful. I couldn't begin to imagine how hard it was for him and I couldn't bear to imagine him in any pain. Especially if it was being brought on by me. I worried about him more than anything.

"You have to go." I said trying to sound demanding.

"No I don't Bella." He seemed upset. I could only imagine how he thought I would take it. He'd seen how I reacted in the hours that Charlie kept us apart. He'd climbed into my window one night to find me pacing. I'd been doing better now but he didn't fully believe that.

"Yes you do," He tilted his head slightly while his frown grew. "Edward," I continued. "You can't starve yourself. I'll be fine, I promise. It's only for one day. I know you're coming back. I promise I'll be fine." He relaxed slightly at the sincerity of my words.

"Bella, if you didn't want me to leave you'd tell me right?" I wouldn't. I didn't want him to leave now but I was also ready to push him out the door.

"Of course. Now, Emmett and Jasper are waiting, surprisingly patiently. You have to go." He sighed. I had known I'd win this. He was thirsty, anyone could tell.

Suddenly he pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head. "Bella, I love you so much." He was making it harder for me now. It was too sentimental. For whatever reason I was fighting back tears. I took a deep breath and pulled out of his chest but he refused to let go of my waist.

"I love you too Edward." I took a deep breath again. "The sooner you leave the sooner you get back." I said and he seemed satisfied by the thought.

"That's right isn't it…" I smiled up at him and something in his face light up and I felt my heart soar. Seeing him leave happily would definitely help. He leaned down slowly. First he kissed my forehead and then he moved towards my lips. He stared into my eyes for a drawn out moment. I could see the love in his eyes and I knew that he'd never leave. He said he was worried about me but I think he was worried about himself. Common sense told me that much but doubt told a whole different story.

He smiled slightly as he pulled his lips towards mine. I closed my eyes preparing myself for the kiss. When his lips touched mine I felt amazing. It was as if I wasn't even on this planet. If I could I would have kept him here just so I could kiss him for eternity. He was amazing at it, for a vampire who had never kissed someone before he jumped into quite well. As I mashed my lips into his further I remembered why we were here and I reluctantly pulled away. For once he was the one pouting and I was the one calling the shots.

"The sooner you leave the sooner you get back." I repeated pulling his arms from my waist. He smiled again, that perfect crooked smile and I couldn't help but smile back. He pulled me into his arms one last time.

"I really do love you." He said. I knew he thought that I still doubted him and maybe I did, somewhere deep down a part of me would always doubt him but that part was gone and never coming back.

"I know." I said as he pulled away again. Emmett honked the horn of his jeep and Edward pecked me on the lips before running outside. I watched the jeep pull out of the driveway taking the love of my life and a piece of me—if not all of me—with it. He wasn't even fully out of the driveway and that lurching feeling was back in my stomach. A day seemed like an eternity as I closed the door. I was home to mope while he went and had fun with his brothers. I slid down the back of the door, ready to sit there until he came back. It didn't sound like a half bad idea actually. I wanted to be able to sleep through it or something like that. I would have done anything to go with him but I couldn't. I'd have to wait for him until graduation when I'd finally be allowed to go with him. I could sleep now though. It was only seven but I was capable.

My mind was full of old memories of my darkest hour, as I feel asleep. That familiar numb feeling had returned. It was my body's self defense. I found it hard to believe that I would have a self-defense for things like this but apparently I did. I slipped into unconsciousness slightly scared of what would go on in my own head.

_I had written the note to Charlie and we were headed out into the woods. I had that all too foreboding feeling as we stopped. We weren't very far from the house and he seemed so serious. We stood there as he told me he was leaving. Even in my dreams I was confused. Then he told me he didn't love me and I woke up._

Thankfully I had been turned inward, towards the pillows. Otherwise my screams wouldn't have been muffled. When I pulled my head up and opened my eyes they felt heavier. I took a deep breath. All my worries were stupid. He was coming back, he loved me. Every thing was perfect. I was stupid to be worried. I needed sleep. He'd be lying next to me soon enough and all would be well. I knew it, I trusted him. I tried picturing his face as he left this time and it helped. Before I knew it I was asleep again.

**That was my first one-shot from BOV I hoped you liked it. It was kind of depressing compared to what I normally write. If you liked it please tell me. I want to know if I can write this genre.**


	2. Edward

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**I know this hasn't been as popular as other things but its something I wanted to explore a little and it makes me happy to write it—depressing as the story line is. I've decided to extend it one—possibly two more chapters about when he comes back. I thought that would add some cheer into the mix. Enjoy.**

_Edward's Point of View:_

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to suffer. There was no way in hell she could be okay with this. I'd had it described to me—according to Alice if I so much as left the room Bella seemed frightened. I couldn't leave her for a whole day. She was here with me now and I didn't want that to change ever. I wanted her to be happy; if I left she wouldn't be happy.

"Bella." I said hoping that she would crack and ask me to stay but instead she kept up the façade. She was doing a very good job at seeming all right. To the naked eye she may have even seemed eager to get me to go hunting but I knew her better. That's not what she wanted. Her eyes gave her away. The way that every time she told me that she'd be fine she couldn't look at my face.

As I was examining her facial expression, trying to find a crack, she grabbed a hold of my chin. Her tiny hand pulled my face down so that her eyes were locked with mine.

"Edward," She said, trying to finalize. What she didn't realize though was that it helped my case. Her voice faltered as she said my name. I could tell it hurt her to think about. The way that she looked into my eyes, they were full of worry. I knew she thought that she was hurting me by keeping me here but there was nowhere I would rather be. I saw a glimmer of sadness as her breath staggered again and it made my heart ache. Technically, my heart could feel nothing, but Bella had awaken something inside of me, all that should be silent and cold was suddenly warm and moving. I hated seeing her like this.

"You have to go." She said, still not able to fully look at me. If I knew Bella, all she could think about now was my thirst and the fact that I needed to hunt. I couldn't disagree with her there. The pain in my throat burned like never before but if that was the only price I had to pay to be with Bella I would take it in a heartbeat. She was wrong though. I didn't _have_ to leave. I could stay as long as she needed me. I could stay until the circles under my eyes were black as night and my throat was screaming from thirst. Hell, I could stay through an eternity and the pain wouldn't be nearly as bad as it was going to be to leave her. Even if only for a day, I wasn't sure I could take it.

"No I don't Bella." I retorted. I knew she wouldn't let up. She was entirely selfless. She would throw herself in front of a bus to save someone she had never met. It was bittersweet. I loved that she was willing to do so much for others but Bella took it to a level that worried me. Nonetheless I knew she wouldn't give in easy.

"Yes you do." I tilted my head and frowned hoping that I could crack her through gestures instead of words. "Edward," She began again. "You can't starve yourself. I'll be fine, I promise. It's only for one day. I know you're coming back. I promise I'll be fine." I involuntarily let my muscles relax. With Bella I also knew when she was being truthful. Mainly because she was about the world's worst liar but still, it made me happy to know that she was convinced I was coming back.

"Bella, if you didn't want me to leave you'd tell me, right?" I knew the answer already but I felt inclined to ask it. I wasn't quite sure why. The reinstatement of what I already know wouldn't get me anywhere.

"Of course. Now, Emmett and Jasper are waiting, surprisingly patiently. You have to go." I sighed. She was right. My brothers were waiting. The longer I spent here the more complaining I'd have to deal with from Emmett. I didn't want to leave her. Ever. I couldn't take it. The distance, the whole two inches, was driving me crazy. I pulled her warm body into my chest. I really didn't want to leave her. I just wanted to stand here, her in my arms, for as long as possible. As impossible as that was, it sounded so good. I kissed the top of her, completely overcome with sappy feelings for her. I was going to miss her so much. How I had ever survived six whole months away from her blew me away.

"Bella I love you so much." I said, never really wanting to let go. I heard her take in a tattered breath. I could tell she was holding back tears. I could feel the extra heat on my chest as I held her. I hated that I was tearing her up. I wanted to let go so that she wouldn't cry but my body wouldn't let me. It refused to let go of her. Even when she pulled away I couldn't entirely let go. I kept a grasp on her waist, I held onto her for dear life.

"I love you too." She responded. I heard another one of those painfully tattered breaths but I was still too selfish to let go. "The sooner you leave the sooner you get back." She said. There was so much truth there, a very 'the glass is half full' way to see it. I was the pessimist while she was the optimist. We contrasted beautifully.

"That's right isn't it…" I said and she smiled. She hadn't smiled since we came downstairs but seeing her happy brought out something in me. It was a bizarre elated feeling that I hardly ever felt away from Bella. Knowing that she was happy made me unbelievably happy. I loved her more than anything. I leaned in ready to kiss her but then I realized that if I kissed her right then I'd have to turn around and leave. I had to drag it out. I kissed her forehead first and I heard her heart rate go up. Then I locked my eyes with her. Her deep brown eyes were so beautiful. You rarely saw brown eyes that could convey so much. I couldn't help but smile at her beauty. Anyone who saw her couldn't help it. It went without saying that she was beautiful.

I leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and I followed suit. As soon as my lips touched hers it was like I was on fire. Her lips were so warm and soft against mine. As usual it took her a second to pull in with me but when she did it was phenomenal. She wrapped her arms around my neck and began playing with my hair. She'd never realize it but this involuntary gesture meant so much to me. I'd noticed overtime that she only did that when she was at peace with things. She was much more free and happy that way. I knew she was running out of breath but my body couldn't pull away. My mind tried and tried but my lips refused. Finally Bella pulled away herself. Her eyes were dazed and elated. Immediately I missed her lips and I pouted a bit. The role reversal there was ironic. She was usually the one whining about having to stop but today it was me. Then again Bella and I weren't much for normal.

"The sooner you leave the sooner you get back." She said sounding almost sentimental. I knew that she didn't want to push me out the door but she felt obligated. The way that she said it though was almost humorous. It made me smile, which, of course, made her face light up. Then she pulled my arms away from her waist and I was surprised the actually let her. I thought I was basically glued to her.

Those two seconds were too much and I pulled her back into my arms. Realizing that I'd have to leave now or Emmett might explode I repeated myself. "I really do love you." I said, even I could hear the longing in my voice. I wanted so badly for her to beg for me to stay or at least ask but Bella looked out for me like I looked out for her and I knew that would never happen.

"I know." She said as I pulled away again. Emmett and Jasper were yelling at me through their minds and then Emmett honked the horn. There was no escape now. I'd have to leave otherwise Emmett would drag me. He was going through the plan to get me in the car when I pecked Bella on the lips and reluctantly ran towards the Jeep.

By the time we were out of the driveway I already wanted her back in my arms. It was painful to be away. As I sat in the car depressing myself Emmett and Jasper were running through their own coping plans. I let their thoughts buzz as we drove into the distance, away from home.

**Okay so that was installment two. Next, Edward comes home. I know it's not a very popular story at the moment but I like writing it. Please review. I want to know what you think.**


	3. IMPORTANT!

I'm sorry for psyching you all out with this Author's note!

There has been lots of question as to where all my stories have disappeared to! Well the answer is now on my profile. If you have something to say about my decision, be it good or bad, please PM me. Don't review one of my stories with your comments on the issue at hand. Review my stories for my stories. Thanks you guys and visit my profile to get the deal on when my stories are coming back. I swear its not morbid hopefully you will be slightly relieved.

Lots of Love,

MyBrandOfHerion.


End file.
